Supplemental Lesson 3
by
Steve Bryant
_’Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you
go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my
people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be
buried. Thus may the Lord do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts
you and me.”_ (Ruth 1:16-17)
Ruth had every reason to clinch her fists toward heaven and say, ‘Life
is unfair!” But she didn’t.
Ruth had every reason to be bitter and angry at God. But there is no
evidence that she felt those emotions.
Ruth had every reason to say, ‘It hurts too much to have loved and lost
so I’ll never love again.” But she didn’t go there either.
Instead, by God’s grace, Ruth found the most healthy way to live under the
darkest of circumstances. *Even with her own overwhelming loss, she focused
her energy on her responsibility to care for others.* Ruth’s loyalty to her
mother-in-law is a light shining from the Old Testament. Her heart is both
inspiring and instructive.
*One Contemporary Connection:*
Let me suggest to you one contemporary connection between Ruth’s life and
ours: *Caring for the aging parent*. Ruth could have done what so many in
her day and culture would have done without hesitation. She could have
walked away from Naomi. But there was a capacity for love within Ruth’s
heart that made the abandonment of one whom she felt responsible for a
complete impossibility.
_Somewhere in Ruth’s heart there was a love that wanted to fulfill the
spirit of the 5th Commandment. ‘Honor your father and your mother.”_
Here is the connection: Many of the people using this supplemental lesson
are facing the time in life when adult children must become care-givers for
their parents. Hard decisions must be made. Painful transitions must be
negotiated. New living arrangements must be sought. Relationships are often
strained. But the light of Christian love can shine brightest under these
and similar circumstances. We don’t know if Ruth was familiar with the 5th
Commandment, but she certainly lived it. And in doing so, she sets such an
excellent example of a Christlike love which refuses to walk away from
someone whom God has bound us to.
You really begin to understand the meaning of the Fifth Commandment when you
examine the context. Moses communicated this commandment to adults who were
thoroughly immersed in the pagan culture. Fresh out of Egypt, wandering in
the desert toward the Promised Land, the people had not yet had time to
develop a religious culture of their own. They were still making and bowing
down to their golden calves – thoroughly pagan. And a part of that culture
for both the nomadic and the city dweller, was the abandonment of the aging
parents. The issue for them was one of usefulness, and once a person was no
longer perceived as being useful, they were left behind. One thousand years
later, nothing much had changed. In Jesus’ day, the Roman culture was
virtually the same. Once grandmother had lost her faculties, she just might
be left out in the cold to fend for herself.
You ever wonder why there is so much in the New Testament about caring for
the widows? That’s why. You ever wonder why Jesus made widows the subject of
so many parables? Because He was trying to change the value system of a
culture into the Kingdom values; a value system that views all of life as
being sacred.
So, the Fifth Commandment speaks directly to what had become and would
continue to be an accepted practice – abandoning the ageing parent. The
first chapter of Ruth should challenge us all to a higher love and loyalty
toward family. There can be no abandonment of family in the Kingdom of God!
God says no, ‘Don’t treat family members like that.” The Lord declares,
‘Honor your father and your mother.” Of all the great Biblical characters,
Ruth sets the supreme example of the love that will not let go.
*(Read Mark 7:9-13)*
Jesus addresses the issue of abandonment in Mark 7. He confronts the
Pharisees (the keepers of the Law) for undermining the Fifth Commandment
with legal loopholes. He said, ‘You know full well that Moses said, Honor
your father and your mother,….but you permit people withhold material and
financial resources from their impoverished parents by allowing them to
claim that all their material and financial resources have been dedicated to
God (or Korban) thereby unavailable to help with their parent’s need…you
are invalidating the Word of God,” Jesus says.
The issue for us may not be financial, but deeply emotional. There is a
great deal of fear and pain and guilt involved in the issue of caring for
the aging parent. There is first, the fear of the person who needs the care,
and it is almost always the fear of becoming a burden for the members of the
family.
My great-grandmother was an elegant and sophisticated wife of a prominent
preacher. She didn’t cook and clean house. She attended social functions. I
can remember visiting her house when I just a little boy. She’d greet us at
the door with white gloves up to her elbows. She turned 96, and still lived
alone in her beautiful Atlanta home. That was the year I started seminary.
I’d go over to cut grass and visit. ‘Mammaw Turner,” I asked, ‘when are you
going to move into the retirement home with your daughter?” And with a very
serious and determined look upon her face, she said, ‘Old people depress
me.” She lived to be 101.
There is always that fear of becoming a burden. But also the pain and guilt
of adult children who take on the role of care-giver for their parents, and
sometimes have to make some very difficult decisions. The driver’s license.
The nursing home. The feeding tube. And to this very kind of situation in
life, God speaks. ‘Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be
prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” Likewise, He
gives us a role model in Ruth.
Name some of the difficulties Ruth would face in taking responsibility for
Naomi?
*Conclusion:*
How does one honor their parents and their in-laws? Well, it means treating
them with respect, and dignity. But it also means honoring them with
concern, and with the determination to give them that sense of security that
they deserve. It means taking on their burden out of genuine love. It means
ensuring that they have the best possible care. Sometimes it means loving
them enough to bring them into your home. Sometimes it means staying on the
nursing home administrator’s tail until he does something about the night
nurse who is less than careful.
Honor your father and your mother.
And so many of you do. You’re there every day, making sure she’s clean and
dry. Letting him know he’s loved. Making sure everything is just right. I
don’t know what it is like to be in your shoes, but I know this: God honors
and blesses the care and love you are giving to your parents. God is going
to honor you. He said so. As the Apostle Paul rightly points out, this is
the first commandment with a promise. God says, ‘Honor your father and your
mother….that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the
earth.”
Thanks be to God for Ruth. In the midst of her overwhelming grief, she
focused on the need of the person closest to her – her mother-in-law. She
refused to abandon her. She remained faithful and loyal to her. Through that
faithfulness, God’s blessings abound. Ruth’s story begins with a funeral,
but ends with grandmother rocking a baby.
Closing Prayer:
Father God,
Make us more mindful of the needs of others.
Make us more attentive and more compassionate.
Help us to take Your Word more seriously
Help us to truly honor the 5th Commandment.
And give us all a heart like Ruth’s, that we might
be loving, faithful and loyal.
In Jesus’ name, Amen