Draft theological review

Draft theological review

By the Office of Theology and Worship, The Layman Online, September 26, 2003

(Note: Many of the footnotes for this document were incomplete, as its principle writer, Dr. Charles Wiley, explained to the Advisory Committee on Social Witness Policy. They have been eliminated from this text, which Wiley intends to revise substantially.)

Confessional and Biblical Framework
Consideration of the family begins with the core documents of our faith: scripture and the confessions. Three and a half decades ago the Presbyterian Church was concerned about the place of interpersonal relations and family life within our culture. These concerns were lifted up in the Confession of 1967:

The relationship between man and woman exemplifies in a basic way God’s ordering of the interpersonal life for which God created humankind. Anarchy in sexual relationships is a symptom of alienation from God, neighbors, and self. The church, as the household of God, is called to lead people out of this alienation into the responsible freedom of the new life in Christ. Reconciled to God, people have joy in and respect for their own humanity and that of other persons; a man and woman are enabled to marry, to commit themselves to a mutually shared life, and to respond to each other in sensitive and lifelong concern; parents receive the grace to care for children in love and to nurture their individuality. The church comes under the judgment of God and invites rejection by society when it fails to lead men and women into the full meaning of life together, or withholds the compassion of Christ from those caught in the moral confusion of our time. [Confession of 1967, Inclusive Language Text 9.47]

In referring to this basic ordering of human life that leads men and women into the full meaning of life together, the Confession of 1967 reflects the creation story in Genesis 2. In Genesis the relationship between man and woman is told in intimately relational terms:

Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called Woman,
for out of Man this one was taken.”
Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his
wife, and they become one flesh. [Genesis 2:23-24]

We encounter this passage of scripture most commonly in our Service of Christian Marriage:

God created us male and female,
and gave us marriage
so that husband and wife may help and comfort each other,
living faithfully together in plenty and in want,
in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health,
throughout all their days.

God gave us marriage
for the full expression of the love between a man and a woman.
In marriage a woman and a man belong to each other,
and with affection and tenderness
freely give themselves to each other.

God gave us marriage
for the well-being of human society,
for the ordering of family life,
and for the birth and nurture of children.

God gave us marriage as a holy mystery
in which a man and a woman are joined together,
and become one,
just as Christ is one with the church.

In marriage, husband and wife are called to a new way of life,
created, ordered, and blessed by God.
This way of life must not be entered into carelessly,
or from selfish motives,
but responsibly, and prayerfully.

We rejoice that marriage is given by God,
blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ,
and sustained by the Holy Spirit.
Therefore, let marriage be held in honor by all.
[Book of Common Worship, p843]

Affirmation of the centrality of marriage in a study of the family is by no means a claim that marriage exhausts what the church means by family. The church upholds the importance of marriage between a man and a woman while not denigrating many other valid forms of family life. The language of the Confession of 1967 is instructive. The biological, nuclear family that is basic to human life and the worship of God is just that: basic. It is neither exhaustive nor exclusive.

The biological, nuclear family does not ensure good family life. This is clear not simply from our experience, but by reflection on the very scriptural texts we rely on in establishing it. Genesis 2:23-24 is followed immediately by fractured relationship (Adam and Eve) and sibling rivalry that leads to fratricide (Cain and Abel). Moreover, there is absolutely no sense in scripture that those who live outside the biological, nuclear are necessarily sinful or living outside the will of God. Thus, while there is scriptural affirmation of this basic form of family life, there are also examples of other forms of human flourishing appropriate to the service of God.

The household is both inclusive of the family yet goes beyond it. In biblical times the household was often the basic relational unit, including parents, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and servants. Due to short life expectancy, the average household in Old Testament times numbered around seven or eight. Households of the elites may have been much larger, but the average Israelite did not live in large households. Such households functioned with the same kinds of kinship ties that we often reserve only for the nuclear family.

Households are prominent in the New Testament as well. Most clearly reflected in the “house-tables” in Colossians and Ephesians, these instructions to families break the bounds of Roman world. While Roman house-tables focuses on the need for inferiors to obey superiors, the Pauline house-tables emphasize the mutual responsibility of all parties to one another. While traditional patterns of authority are maintained, we read of the importance of parents to not provoke their children as well as for children to obey their parents. Even more surprising is that the traditional injunction for slaves to obey masters is paired with “masters, do the same to them. Stop threatening them, for you know that both of you have the same Master in heaven, and with him there is no partiality.” [Ephesians 6:9]

Families are present all through the scriptures. In the Old Testament we have the dramatic stories of families in Genesis: Noah, Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Esau, Naomi and Ruth, etc. The very fact that there are longs lists of “begats” in this narrative demonstrates the importance of clan ties. Jesus’ reference to the marriage covenant in the Gospel, the injunctions in Paul to parents and children reflect the continuing importance of family.

The scripture also provides examples of those whose single-minded devotion for God is expressed in never marrying at all. The first hints are in the lives of the prophets, and reach a more prominent place in the lives of John the Baptizer, the Apostle Paul, and Jesus himself. There is no hint that John the Baptizer or Jesus somehow lived less than a fulfilled life because they lacked a spouse or children.

The bonds we associate with families are not restricted to persons with marital, biological, or genetic relation. Adoption is the clearest example. One who was not previously related is now fully in “family.” Adoption is such a powerful witness to the extension of kinship bonds to those outside of biological relationship that it becomes a primary way of speaking of our relation to God, especially in the New Testament.

For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” [Romans 8:15]

Instead of an aberrant or unusual way to refer to relation, adoption becomes a controlling metaphor. Adoption is the norm for human relationship to God.

Familial commitments are also extended to those outside the immediate family. This is apparent in the constant scriptural refrain to care for the widow and orphan. This refrain demonstrates both the need to care for those outside one’s household, and that such care was not always exercised. This precept is echoed in the Second Helvetic Confession where Christians are enjoined to extend “familial piety” to families that have been affected by loss. Such an exhortation underscores a devotion to our families as expressions of our devotion to God and extends care to those outside our families as though they were bound to us by familial ties.

All who marvel at the story of Naomi and Ruth understand that God is honored in familial ties that do not fit the basic pattern. Scripture also discloses “temporary households” in which people are committed to one another in order to achieve certain purposes. Jesus’ disciples, Paul and Barnabas, and other covenanted, long-term friendships went beyond the normal bounds of friendship.

One of the most striking characteristics of the biblical description of life in households is the absolute honesty about family struggles. From the story of the first family in Genesis, through David, to the scandal of Mary’s pregnancy in the Gospels Scripture is authentically candid about the difficulties and feelings of human relationships. The scriptural narrative does not lift up every conceivable form of family life as a model, but instead show that God works through all our human frailty and sin. Perhaps the most dramatic instance is God’s faithfulness to David despite his adulterous conquest of Bathsheba made possible through the murder of her husband, Uriah. [II Samuel 11]

This observation gives us guidance for our own time. Our God is able to work in and through all kinds of families. Such an affirmation does not baptize every form of household, bit is instead an affirmation of the ultimate goodness of God. Nathan’s confrontation of David with the prophetic word, “You are the man.” demonstrates God’s judgment against David’s sin.[II Samuel 12:1-19] God’s continual faithfulness to David demonstrates God’s mercy.

No account of family and household can ignore the words we find on Jesus lips that questions this account of families:

“Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.” [Luke 14:26]

How are we to understand Jesus’ shocking words that discipleship involves hating our dearest family members? Jesus’ hyperbolic statement points to the cost of discipleship. No matter how dear our familial relationships are, there are numerous examples in the Bible and in church history of conflicts between familial commitments and service to God. Families can nurture us in the love of God, and families can be threatened by authentic devotion to God. Jesus’ own life demonstrates that unswerving commitment to the ways of God can create distance in the family. Jesus’ odd conversation with his mother at the Wedding at Cana, and his response to his mother and brothers when they come for him reflect this common tension. Jesus response to them is instructive:

Someone told him, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” But to the one who had told him this, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” [Matthew 12:47-50]

The family retains its importance, but as important is the possibility for extending familial bonds to those outside our marital or biological relationships. Few things are more primary in the New Testament understanding of relationships. An identity in which relation to God is even more fundamental than biological relationships.

Christian Identity
Our identities as Christians are formed in baptism and in a continual practice of discipleship. It is an identity that is not based on family origins, ethnic identity, or our gender, for we are one in Christ Jesus:

As many of you as were baptized into Christ
have clothed yourselves with Christ.
There is no longer Jew or Greek,
there is no longer slave or free,
there is no longer male and female;
for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.

The one to be baptized does not offer any merit, earned or inherited, in order to qualify for baptism. The ancient Christian practice of shedding all clothes in order to be baptized emphasized that we come to the font with nothing to offer but our very lives.

In Baptism we believe that God acts to incorporate us into the church, to cleanse us from sin, to free us from death, to claim our identity as a child of God. Our acts are in response to the prior act of God, a covenant extended by us by God, incorporating us into Christ’s body.

Through baptism we enter the covenant God has established.
Within this covenant God gives us new life,
guards us from evil,
and nurtures us in love.
In embracing that covenant, we choose whom we will serve,
by turning from evil
and turning to Jesus Christ.

As God embraces you within the covenant, I ask you
to reject sin,
to profess your faith in Christ Jesus,
and to confess the faith of the church,
the faith in which we baptize.
Renunciations

In baptism God claims us,
and seals us to show that we belong to God.
God frees us from sin and death,
uniting us with Jesus Christ in his death and resurrection.

By water and the Holy Spirit,
we are made members of the church, the body of Christ,
and joined to Christ’s ministry of love, peace, and justice.

At one level this incorporation into the body of Christ through baptism is “regardless.” One is not worthy of baptism because of the prestige of one’s family or the color of one’s skin. The “worthiness” in baptism is Christ’s, and we are able to receive baptism because of God’s gracious gift to us given in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Nonetheless in this holy sacrament, we are often surrounded by the commitments and ties of earthly families. Family life is not banished from this celebration, but instead it is placed in its proper context. This is seen most clearly in the baptism of children. Except in unusual circumstances one or both parents stand with the child, confess their faith, and make promises regarding the upbringing of the child:

Relying on God’s grace,
do you promise to live the Christian faith,
and to teach that faith to your child?

The presence of the parents in this act of public worship is deeply Reformed. In medieval Europe baptisms were regularly performed by midwives with godparents presenting the children in a private service-parents almost never attended the baptisms of their children. Calvin insisted that parents present their children for baptism during services of public worship. In this way, the nurture of children in the family was placed in the context of the nurture of children in the church.

Immediately, however, these family promises are put in the context of the wider community of faith. For the congregation also promises:

Do you, as members of the church of Jesus Christ,
promise to guide